Sunday, March 19, 2006
Second mistake
Well as of today, I've now both the two major screwups. The first was, of course, forgetting to give Cade his morning dose on the day of our clinic appointment. Luckily I remembered as we were 1/2 way there and managed to recover from that.
Tonight I managed to give his morning dose in the evening. After a not so slight panic attack, I called the on call dr. and was told that since he is the honeymoon phase so his doses are really small on top of that he is running pretty high anyway - he should be OK. I do need to give him a larger than normal snack and wake up at midnight and 3am for tests (I have this feeling the problem will be getting to sleep not waking up).
Stuff like this makes me feel so guilty, I'll be honest I am not the most organized person at the best of times and when I found out what having diabetes meant I swore that I would get organized. And I have, I'm trying so hard, but I've still screwed up. The dr. did say that it is not uncommon for this to occur - but nevertheless it should not of happened.
This has definitely been a day of asking 'why my son?'
Tonight I managed to give his morning dose in the evening. After a not so slight panic attack, I called the on call dr. and was told that since he is the honeymoon phase so his doses are really small on top of that he is running pretty high anyway - he should be OK. I do need to give him a larger than normal snack and wake up at midnight and 3am for tests (I have this feeling the problem will be getting to sleep not waking up).
Stuff like this makes me feel so guilty, I'll be honest I am not the most organized person at the best of times and when I found out what having diabetes meant I swore that I would get organized. And I have, I'm trying so hard, but I've still screwed up. The dr. did say that it is not uncommon for this to occur - but nevertheless it should not of happened.
This has definitely been a day of asking 'why my son?'
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
HIs and LOs
Had a pretty tough day today, Cade was really high at daycare at 10am, then had a 2.7 at 3pm. I keep checking to make sure he is eating lunch, and he is finishing all. Then to top it all off he had a low before bed, so I gave him a snack. Too much as it turned out. At 11pm he was up at 16.1.
I spent half the night worrying about what these high sugar levels are doing to him - and my only thought was 'if this is the honey moon period, how are we going to survive ful blown diabetes'. I'm looking at this log book now and he is all over the place - I'm not sure if I'll ever know enough to keep him under control.
I spent half the night worrying about what these high sugar levels are doing to him - and my only thought was 'if this is the honey moon period, how are we going to survive ful blown diabetes'. I'm looking at this log book now and he is all over the place - I'm not sure if I'll ever know enough to keep him under control.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Day at the clinic
Well today was our first clinic meeting. It really was not the best of days, first off I knew I had a pile of work to get to - and that was in the back of my mind most of the morning. The appointment was at 9am, not problem to get to right?, well actually....
We finally get out the door and I'm mentally checking I've got everything, the orders forms for replacement insulin, the details of the meeting, the log book, the list goes on. I'm just thinking about Cades levels this morning, kinda low at 4.5 and I realized I'd completely forgotten to give his insulin. Unbelievable, I've been at this for 6 weeks now and never even come close to forgetting and here I am heading off to his first clinic appointment and I've managed to forget, completely.
So head back home, now 20 minutes late and head off again.
The clinic appointment ended up being pretty low key, HbA1c test, new prescription for insulin, needles and test strips and 60 minutes with the diabetes educator just discussing how things were going. They reviewed the log book and gave me a bunch more handouts, she also reminded me to test Cade ketones when he goes above 15 (I'd completely forgotton about that). Cade has had a sick day already and I did test his ketones then.
Quick meeting with the endo., then out of there. They did tell me that they tend to schedule the appointments for the under 5s around the same time - so hopefully next time we'll be able to meet some people with the same challenges I'm experiencing (and ideally with some advice too).
They also recommended a slight change in his dosing, saying that if his dinner levels are 12.0 then to give zero short acting (Cade is only taking 3 units of long acting a day right now).
I tried that this evening, then tested him around bed time and got a reading of 16 - bad. So I'm not sure about that advice, although he did have a big dinner - I just hate him being that high, because right now there is nothing I can do - short of making his snack a lot lower in carbs.
But I did test his ketones, pretty sure it would not be a problem, but I figured I get in the habit. Funnily enough this is easer, about 10 months Cade decided he like to pee at bathtime, but he also decided that he did not like peeing in the actual bath. So he's been peeing in a cup most nights for months now, I know it sounds a little gross - but we just used to flush it down the toliet and wash the cup.
Needless to say, this 'habit' makes it a lot easier to get the ketones tested.
It's 10:30pm, so I'm off to make sure his sugars have come down.
We finally get out the door and I'm mentally checking I've got everything, the orders forms for replacement insulin, the details of the meeting, the log book, the list goes on. I'm just thinking about Cades levels this morning, kinda low at 4.5 and I realized I'd completely forgotten to give his insulin. Unbelievable, I've been at this for 6 weeks now and never even come close to forgetting and here I am heading off to his first clinic appointment and I've managed to forget, completely.
So head back home, now 20 minutes late and head off again.
The clinic appointment ended up being pretty low key, HbA1c test, new prescription for insulin, needles and test strips and 60 minutes with the diabetes educator just discussing how things were going. They reviewed the log book and gave me a bunch more handouts, she also reminded me to test Cade ketones when he goes above 15 (I'd completely forgotton about that). Cade has had a sick day already and I did test his ketones then.
Quick meeting with the endo., then out of there. They did tell me that they tend to schedule the appointments for the under 5s around the same time - so hopefully next time we'll be able to meet some people with the same challenges I'm experiencing (and ideally with some advice too).
They also recommended a slight change in his dosing, saying that if his dinner levels are 12.0 then to give zero short acting (Cade is only taking 3 units of long acting a day right now).
I tried that this evening, then tested him around bed time and got a reading of 16 - bad. So I'm not sure about that advice, although he did have a big dinner - I just hate him being that high, because right now there is nothing I can do - short of making his snack a lot lower in carbs.
But I did test his ketones, pretty sure it would not be a problem, but I figured I get in the habit. Funnily enough this is easer, about 10 months Cade decided he like to pee at bathtime, but he also decided that he did not like peeing in the actual bath. So he's been peeing in a cup most nights for months now, I know it sounds a little gross - but we just used to flush it down the toliet and wash the cup.
Needless to say, this 'habit' makes it a lot easier to get the ketones tested.
It's 10:30pm, so I'm off to make sure his sugars have come down.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Off to the clinic tomorrow
Today was a pretty good day. I spoke to the Dr. on the phone on Monday night about his high levels (15.0 - 18.0) in the morning. We adjusted his long acting dose on Tuesday morning, but it did not seem to take affect. But when I spoke to daycare today, finally he had a decent mid-morning level of 10.2 - hooray, something is finally going right. And then of course his afternoon was 3.7, OK so not as right as I hoped - but at least he spent most of the day in his target range.
I'm still new at this and we have not finished our education yet - so we have fixed doses morning and night. I'm trying my best to give Cade consistent meals and eat it all, but even so his sugars are all over the place, it's already getting frustrating and when he is running 14 - 18 very upsetting also.
And the good news is I think I've figured out what to do when his nighttime is low - in the past I've tended to give him too much snack and I find out around 11pm that he is on the ceiling. Last night though, limit snack (2 biscuits - not ideal bedtime food, but what can you do) and his standard snack of a bottle. And the night time readings two of them were all good 7.0 - 9.0, so happy. I'm sure it won't work everytime, but at least I finally managed to do something to correct a bad level.
Tonight my mum was over for dinner, she wants to have Cade to stay the night, but I'm having a tough time getting her to do the injections. I currently just offer when ever she is around and it's time for his injection, and I know she wants to help and be able to have him stay over, but she is still not ready. Tonight we practiced on a banana and I gave her a needle to pratice at home with - so we will see how that goes.
Tomorrow I get to feel like a real diabetic dad. We have our first, of many, 3 monthly appointment. When we left the hospital, 6 weeks ago, they did explain that we would need to go to the doctor every 3 months, but didn't really provide any details. I'm assuming he will get an HbA1c, but I'm not really sure what the rest of the 90 minutes will be used for.
Right now he's being a typical 3 year old and complaining about being in bed. (it's taken 45 minutes for this post).
I'm still new at this and we have not finished our education yet - so we have fixed doses morning and night. I'm trying my best to give Cade consistent meals and eat it all, but even so his sugars are all over the place, it's already getting frustrating and when he is running 14 - 18 very upsetting also.
And the good news is I think I've figured out what to do when his nighttime is low - in the past I've tended to give him too much snack and I find out around 11pm that he is on the ceiling. Last night though, limit snack (2 biscuits - not ideal bedtime food, but what can you do) and his standard snack of a bottle. And the night time readings two of them were all good 7.0 - 9.0, so happy. I'm sure it won't work everytime, but at least I finally managed to do something to correct a bad level.
Tonight my mum was over for dinner, she wants to have Cade to stay the night, but I'm having a tough time getting her to do the injections. I currently just offer when ever she is around and it's time for his injection, and I know she wants to help and be able to have him stay over, but she is still not ready. Tonight we practiced on a banana and I gave her a needle to pratice at home with - so we will see how that goes.
Tomorrow I get to feel like a real diabetic dad. We have our first, of many, 3 monthly appointment. When we left the hospital, 6 weeks ago, they did explain that we would need to go to the doctor every 3 months, but didn't really provide any details. I'm assuming he will get an HbA1c, but I'm not really sure what the rest of the 90 minutes will be used for.
Right now he's being a typical 3 year old and complaining about being in bed. (it's taken 45 minutes for this post).
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
The Beginning - Jan 27
On Friday, January 27th I recieved a phone call from my wife. She told me that our son had Type I diabetes.
For those who have heard those words, you can imagine what I felt, mostly shock and confusion - followed quickly by 'what does this mean?'. Like most people I knew a little about diabetes, but mainly about Type II. My wife quickly explained what this meant - blood sugar monitoring and insulin injections.
At the time I was in business in Canada and was due to fly out on the next flight in the morning. So in typical male fashion I dealt with this by doing research and looking for solutions, the tears did not come until much later - 4 days to be exact.
By the time I arrived home, my wife and Cade had already been in hospital for a day. Cade was looking happy and asking about going to the playground, he was simply pleased to see me after a two week break, and in typical 3 1/2 year old fashion was not too phased by the new surroundings. He was exceptionally proud that he had a finger prick without crying in the morning.
The rest of his stay is largely a blur, hours spent with diabetes educators learing about insulin inections, monitoring and carb counting. I vividly remember the first injection I needed to give - the first was actually my wife, just saline. Cade's first injection was really hard, he had enough by the stage to know he did not like it and wiggled a lot -but they would not let us go until both my wife and I had done one each.
On Monday I got to pick up the necessary items for dealing with diabetes, the needles, lancets, monitor, sharps bin, glucose strips, ketone strips and insulin. For those who don't remember what it was like - I felt like I'd cleaned out an entire drug store - and all that 'stuff' scared the crap out of me.
Finally on Tuesday we got to take him home. And finally the tears came - they would not stop - someone had decided to make my son's life difficult, and I would have done anything to fix it. For days all I could see was a future of injections, being careful what was eating and nothing else. When you are a parent you often look forward in your childs life, the first day of school, first road trip without the parents, learning to ride, learning to ski, for weeks I could not see these things all I could see was managing his diabetes and explaining it to people.
My first low point, and not the last.
Luckily for us, the diabetes service in my city is exceptionally good. Within 2 days of getting him home the diabetes educator had already been to his daycare and done training with the staff there. Cade was back in daycare by the end of the week, with a lot of calls to them from his dad. The daycare has also been exceptionally supportive of this, no problems what so ever. In fact as it turned out they got to deal with his first low.
A couple of days after this, my wife got sick. Nothing life threatening, but she is going to be in bed for a couple of months. So I am left in charge of Cade and his little sister.
Since I first found out, I have read everything I could find on diabetes management from types of drugs, to types of food and pumps, continous glucose monitoring. During my investigation on the web and trying to find out more about dealing with small children I stumbled across Penny's blog. Reading about her last 5 months gave me strength and made me realize that I was not alone - other people are experiencing the same feelings of hopelessness (it's a chronic disease), hopefulness (treatments are getting better), happiness (a single day staying in his target range), pride (the first time he reminds me to do his test when I'm in a hurry), guilt (a single day with way low and then way high).
And that leads us to here, and why I am blogging about this. In part because it's difficult to talk to my friends and family, I feeling like I'm trying to explain something I don't understand. In part because writing this down feels good. In part to provide hope to anyone who stumbles across my blog.
For those who have heard those words, you can imagine what I felt, mostly shock and confusion - followed quickly by 'what does this mean?'. Like most people I knew a little about diabetes, but mainly about Type II. My wife quickly explained what this meant - blood sugar monitoring and insulin injections.
At the time I was in business in Canada and was due to fly out on the next flight in the morning. So in typical male fashion I dealt with this by doing research and looking for solutions, the tears did not come until much later - 4 days to be exact.
By the time I arrived home, my wife and Cade had already been in hospital for a day. Cade was looking happy and asking about going to the playground, he was simply pleased to see me after a two week break, and in typical 3 1/2 year old fashion was not too phased by the new surroundings. He was exceptionally proud that he had a finger prick without crying in the morning.
The rest of his stay is largely a blur, hours spent with diabetes educators learing about insulin inections, monitoring and carb counting. I vividly remember the first injection I needed to give - the first was actually my wife, just saline. Cade's first injection was really hard, he had enough by the stage to know he did not like it and wiggled a lot -but they would not let us go until both my wife and I had done one each.
On Monday I got to pick up the necessary items for dealing with diabetes, the needles, lancets, monitor, sharps bin, glucose strips, ketone strips and insulin. For those who don't remember what it was like - I felt like I'd cleaned out an entire drug store - and all that 'stuff' scared the crap out of me.
Finally on Tuesday we got to take him home. And finally the tears came - they would not stop - someone had decided to make my son's life difficult, and I would have done anything to fix it. For days all I could see was a future of injections, being careful what was eating and nothing else. When you are a parent you often look forward in your childs life, the first day of school, first road trip without the parents, learning to ride, learning to ski, for weeks I could not see these things all I could see was managing his diabetes and explaining it to people.
My first low point, and not the last.
Luckily for us, the diabetes service in my city is exceptionally good. Within 2 days of getting him home the diabetes educator had already been to his daycare and done training with the staff there. Cade was back in daycare by the end of the week, with a lot of calls to them from his dad. The daycare has also been exceptionally supportive of this, no problems what so ever. In fact as it turned out they got to deal with his first low.
A couple of days after this, my wife got sick. Nothing life threatening, but she is going to be in bed for a couple of months. So I am left in charge of Cade and his little sister.
Since I first found out, I have read everything I could find on diabetes management from types of drugs, to types of food and pumps, continous glucose monitoring. During my investigation on the web and trying to find out more about dealing with small children I stumbled across Penny's blog. Reading about her last 5 months gave me strength and made me realize that I was not alone - other people are experiencing the same feelings of hopelessness (it's a chronic disease), hopefulness (treatments are getting better), happiness (a single day staying in his target range), pride (the first time he reminds me to do his test when I'm in a hurry), guilt (a single day with way low and then way high).
And that leads us to here, and why I am blogging about this. In part because it's difficult to talk to my friends and family, I feeling like I'm trying to explain something I don't understand. In part because writing this down feels good. In part to provide hope to anyone who stumbles across my blog.
